I created this guided affirmation track to help people discover that their happiness belongs to them. It serves as a powerful tool for easily absorbing positive thoughts and allowing new thoughts to present themselves to one’s consciosness. These affirmations are designed for those who feel responsible for others' well-being or struggle to relax, especially if the relationships are hard or their loved ones are struggling. It's for anyone who wants to reclaim their own happiness, find inner peace.
Have we met?
In case we haven't, my name is Anya Lincoln, and I am a spiritual teacher, thinker, and author. I have written a book called "I Am," which explores how our consciousness shapes and defines the very fabric of our reality. I am also the creator of Identity Work, a powerful method of inquiry that delves into your world to discover the one thing that can truly change it: your Identity, your "I am."
Long after I had a major realization that changed my life and the lives of many other people, I was struggling with co-dependence and feeling responsible for how people I loved (and some people I never even met felt.) I found myself anxiously scanning my environment for the next thing I could do to make sure people I cared for and felt responsble for stayed "on track" to their magnificent future. If they didn't, I felt hopeless and confused. Naturally, I went deep into inquiry which allowed me to see the truth about what was happening and why it made no sense at all to hold myself back from experiencing bliss unconditionally.
But Inquiry is deep work. Sometimes all one needs is to hear just the right thing to shift their perception. This is why I recorded this 26-minute audio track.
why is it so hard to let go of feeling responsible for the happiness of others?
1. Sometimes, when we really care about someone, we feel like its our job to “make them happy” instead simply sharing happiness together and allowing everyone to take care of their own feelings.
2. We might worry that if we stop trying to make others happy or stop trying to change them, something bad might happen to them and to us. Old conditioning tells us that we may experience consequences if we don’t make sure that every person we care about lives their best life or lives up to their full potential. It was never our job to make anyone happy. Everyone can only do that for themselves.
3. Everyone around us, like our family and friends, might tell us that it's our job to make sure others are happy. It's hard to disconnect from what everyone around us believes and supports. Being happy can feel like going against family or community culture. I recorded these affirmations to be the voice that will support you as you move to inner independence.
4. Sometimes, we think that taking care of others is a big part of who we are. Being responsible for others is a big part of our Idenity. It's like our special role, and it can be confusing to think about not doing that anymore.
5. We buy into deep beliefs that tell us that if we suffer with someone, even if it's hard for us, this encourages them to get better. We feel we are “with them”, “together”, part of a common experience. Choosing happiness can feel lonely and disconnected. It's an illusion that I hope to dispel. You are never more connected than when you are happy. When you unconditionally connect to your well-being, you drop your defenses. You open up to life.
6. We might be scared that if we stop doing everything for others and focus on our own happiness, they might not like us anymore or leave us. We continue supporting relationships where we trade carrying more burdens than we want for being loved.
7. When we feel responsible for others, it makes us feel like we have control over what happens. This sense of control is usually needed because our connection to who we really are is unsteady, we don't know who we are. We want to control their world, so we can, eventually, have permission to be who we are, to be happy. We don’t need permission to do that. We are already whole and complete.
8. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy independently, because we carry beliefs from our spiritual traditions that tell us that suffering is how we "save" others. Think of the image of Jesus on the cross, for example. Even if you are not a church-going type, these images are deeply ingrained in our cultures. We imagine holding hands with the unhappy or addicted person, for example, and walking “out of suffering” together. What happens instead is we stay stuck because each one of us reinforces the belief that our happiness depends on someone else.