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Writer's pictureAnya Lincoln

Helplessness is suppressing who you are, and you need a lot of power to do that!

Helplessness is that feeling when you know what you want to do but you feel like you can’t or more often, can’t afford, to do it.


Recently I designed a worksheet to address specifically that .. helplessness.. in intimate relationships. When it looks like the power and the control are with the other partner we feel helpless to say, do, and act in the ways that are in our best interest.

Intimate relationships are a perfect model for any relationship that we have .. with anything. And if something or someone in your world appears to have something that you believe you don’t have (and also really need), you will adhere to whatever rules “they” (and you too!) establish in order to get it. Even if the rules mean buying into the feeling that you can’t do anything about the situation.


Helplessness is when who you are steps back to give space to who think you are to get what you think you need (or, inversely, have but can’t afford to lose.)

You are not helpless, you are powerful beyond measure. That power has the ability to make the way where your conditional self only sees walls and obstacles, but you have to trust the real you more than the evidence of you that is made up for that way to start making itself evident.

🤍🤍🤍


If you want to do some worksheets for your relationship where you feel a sense of helplessness, do my “I love you, now change” mini-workbook. 29 printable pages. You can find it in the shop section of this website


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